God is often described in the Old Testament as angry and vengeful; but this is not because our sufferings are His vengeance. Rather, it is because the Israelites and the human writers of the Scriptures perceived it that way. While all Scripture is the inspired Word of God, it is still expressed through human expressions and the lens of a fallen human experience.

Why did they perceive God this way?

Because, like Adam and Eve, when they recognized their sins, they felt the shame, believing they deserved this vengeance–so they came to God expecting it.

Because of this, they often failed to recognize that their sufferings were not God’s vengeance, but simply a natural result of sin in the world. It is simply the inevitable result of those living apart from God–just as one who avoids the light and suffers from living in darkness.

They came to God like a child who comes to their parent, remorseful and ashamed, expecting the worst punishment, yet begging them to be merciful. But the parent had never wanted to punish them. They simply want their child to recognize that what they did was wrong and to see the painful consequences of those actions (and evidently, the sufferings they caused themselves by their own actions have already done that). Because they have a contrite repentance, the parent accepts and forgives the child with open arms.

It is like the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), who squandered all His Father gave him on sinful worldly pleasures, and suffered when the famine came because he has nothing left to sustain himself. Because we weren’t meant to sustain ourselves–God is.

If the son had stayed with his Father as his older brother did, he would have continued to have all that he needed. As the Father said to his older brother: “Everything I have is yours” (Luke 15:31).

The Father welcomed and forgave him not because he had first suffered His wrath, but because he had returned to Him with a contrite, humble heart–realizing he doesn’t deserve his Father’s love, but seeking reconciliation.

That was why the Father permitted His son to suffer–to see the natural consequences of sin and return to Him. And just as importantly, He wanted his son to realize that His love is a truly pure love for him as His son–not because he had done anything to deserve it.

And that is actually what makes the younger and older son the same–they didn’t recognize that their Father’s love never had to be earned.

Why did the older son complain about his Father celebrating his younger brother? Because of jealousy, yes. But why would he be jealous if he had already recognized his Father’s love for him?

The older son complains how he served his Father long and hard for all those years (Luke 15:28-29)–and to his credit, never disobeyed or left his Father. But did the Father ever ask him to work so arduously? Or was that a burden he placed on himself? Like Martha (Luke 10:38-42), did he hardly ever stop to simply be with his Father and receive His love, which was what his Father wanted most? The older son was so angry because he had been working all these years to earn his Father’s love–while the younger son, upon returning, received it without having earned it at all!

“My son,” his Father said, “you are here with me always; everything I have is yours” (Luke 15:31). He had always loved and wanted to give everything he had to both his sons, but the older son refused to truly accept it until he’d “earned” it. But when would all he did ever be enough? How could it be, when he never could and never had to earn it?

Thus, it is because of pride that the younger son went off to live by and for himself–and because of pride that the older son stayed and tried to earn his Father’s love. It is because of pride in wanting to earn God’s love that we often overwork ourselves and do things on our own–and, after we fail in our own strength and fall into sin, we hide from God or come to Him terrified of His wrath. The belief that we have to earn His love–that is pride.

But we come to recognize the beauty of humility when we accept God’s gift of forgiveness, mercy, and love, without having earned it. 

We do not deserve His love. And that’s the point. We were never meant to. Rather, we were meant to receive it and to turn from sin out of love–recognizing that sin hurts God and ourselves and everyone around us by taking us away from the One who sustains us, the One who gives us life–the One who loves us unconditionally.